Confidence. Faith. Trust.

7 days.
It's never too late to start, but too late if you don't work hard.

Just need a'lil more confidence to help me pull through all these shit. I had never been studying for interest, but always been studying cos I need to. I know clearly the importance of this hurdle I'm about to cross - it's the passport to my next stage of life.

All the national exams are just like stages of a swimming competition. PSLE is like the preliminary round. Amongst all competitors, you swim as fast as possible to emerge as the top few so as to qualify for the next round.

Moving on, the quarter-finals. This time it gets tougher, because the standard of your competitors get higher, and you just have to keep pushing yourself physically and mentally so that you stand a chance in the next round. This time you did alright, but not impressive enough. Or at least, you knew that you could have done better. Lucky enough, you proceed to the semifinals with an average result.

Now the semifinals. And this time round, your competitors get even stronger. Some gave the quarter-finals a miss but came stronger this round. Nervous? Definitely. Doubtful of yourself? Sometimes. Being an average is never a good thing because you are always caught between nowhere. Either you're too good for the bottom or you're too lousy for the top. And now you're in this awkward position, thinking of all the possible outcomes that may befall you in this competition.

So what to do? Other than working hard, you just have to work harder. And harder. And harder... And all you wish for, is a placing in the finals, right?

I've always been clear of my own goals in this long race which started when I was 12. First goal: CGS. Achieved. Second goal: ACJC. Missed. Third Goal: HKU/HK. And one thing I'm very sure: I don't wanna give my any of my goals a miss anymore.

Why do I describe the national exams as a swimming competition?

In a swimming competition, you look as if you are competing against your other competitors. But the fact is that, you're competing against yourself. It's a race against your ability, your skills. Only you can beat your fastest timing; only you can break your own record. You win for your future, for yourself, not for anyone else.

The role of your competitors is just to keep you going and to keep your goals clear. It's a motivation for you to want to be better, but it's not the reason of your loss.

Just like the A'levels.
It may seem like a competition against many others, but it really is not. Others doing well is the fruit of their own labour and it doesn't account for your loss in anything. Their achievement can motivate you, or make you feel worse about yourself. It's always about how you want to see it as. They never can make you lose; only you can make yourself lose.

Sometimes I feel quite silly to worry about others causing me to lose. Then I think again: No, they're not. If I lose, it's solely because I didn't work hard enough.

7 days to the start of this 15-day race against myself. I don't feel prepared. Sometimes you just get too tired you wanna give up. But I realise I just need a lil' more confidence and hard work and everything will be alright.

For people who are tired or who has taken a long rest: Pick yourself up again. It's just 7 days and in a blink of an eye it'll all be over. Remember, it's never too late to start but too late if you've already given up in yourself. But then it's never too late if you're willing to pick yourself up again.

Haha I'm quite impressed sometimes, with how I console myself.

7 days to the semifinals.
23 days to my well-deserved freedom.

Till then.

(Typed entirely using my iPhone)